Blank pages

There’s something about a blank page that gives me a pause. There are so many possibilities and yet I can’t seem to focus on the one. The one that will make readers want to read what I have to say. The one that will make me want to spend time writing it.

I’m certain that I’m not the only person who faces this problem. In fact, I’d probably find a thousand self-help books about “writer’s block” in just a quick Google search. But that’s not it. It’s not a block per se. Because it’s not that I don’t have any ideas about what to write. It’s that I have so many things swirling around in my head that I can’t focus. More times than not, I end up not writing anything at all. So, “writer’s block” after all?

Today, I got my first rejection letter. It was from a very interesting job opportunity and it made me really sad. Especially since I put a lot of work into the application. I sat in front of that blank page for weeks, too, unable to write anything. What I ended up with made me feel proud of my work and I hoped others would appreciate that. There are, of course, lots of reasons why an application gets rejected. Many applicants with equal or better qualifications… If it’s for a good job, you won’t be the only one who’s interested. It’s not like the whole world rejected me.

… Is it?

Right now, I’m facing a problem – and it’s big. After finishing my Master’s degree in Japanese and English Studies, I find myself open to a world full of new and wonderful opportunities. Another blank page, waiting to be written on. I also find myself overwhelmed. It’s not that I don’t know what I want to do. It’s that I want to do a lot of things. I just can’t decide what I’d love to do. So here I am again. Pausing. Unable to focus.

I know I’m not alone. That knowledge helps, if only a little. But you know what? I was able to conquer this blank page, I will be able to conquer the next!

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